Now I had a boyfriend....

My life seemed completely surreal. The thought of me having a boyfriend was incredibly weird. I'd almost resigned myself to the fact I was just going to be alone forever because that's the way I was, so having a boyfriend just didn't seem real. Don't get me wrong - I didn't feel it was too good to be true. I don't wish to sound arrogant and I didnt mean it in such a way, but I felt we both deserved each other.

I spoke to him online once I got home from work that Sunday night, although at the time he had a weekend job that wore him out and he generally went to sleep as soon as he got home, so it was almost a great privelege that he spent a while talking to me on MSN, even though it wouldnt have been as long as I would have liked. I don't remember what we talked about really, although I do remember him telling me that he found it difficult to believe what was happening like I had. He'd been wondering if someone had stolen my phone and I hadn't sent those texts at all, because it seemed unlike me. He also told me that if I changed my mind about wanting him as my boyfriend then I should say so. I imagined how much that would suck for him if I did feel that way and called an end to it, but it proved something that after having spent six years chasing me, he would still rather me walk away than be in a relationship with him that I didn't feel comfortable about. Obviously we're still together so it never came to that, but it was nice to know if I did change my mind, I could get out without having to feel too bad about it.

One memory that did stick in my mind was at the end when he was going to sign off. He told me something along the lines of 'Ow wow, I can write those kisses now! xXx' I didn't say anything at the time, but it sort of felt weird because we hadn't kissed yet. It was sort of uncomfortable, although I didn't say anything because it was probably because I was new to all this, and I knew that once we did start kissing I'd probably love it when he put kisses at the end of texts and MSN conversations (and I was right).


The next day when I was at college (he had Mondays off) we spent so long texting each other, being all lovey dovey. I missed one of my buses home so I went to the nearby KFC and I can remember texting him all kind of stuff while getting grease all over my phone keys (nice!). As a side note, in the long time we've been together and we've gotten KFC a few times, I always eat way too much and then laze about telling him I'm fat and I feel sick lol. It's almost become a tradition now. You really shouldn't eat KFC in front of your partner. There is no way to eat it without looking like a total pig. Alternatively, you can look stupid by using a knife and fork.

Back on topic...

Tuesday rolled around, and I was beginning to really shit myself. I was so nervous about seeing him. It was easy to tell him I loved him and stuff over MSN or text, but him being there seemed scary. We'd arranged to meet at lunchtime, and I was praying I wasn't going to bump into him at breaktime before that. I needed the time to mentally prepare myself. Lunchtime was at 12.30, and I can remember that once it got past 12 noticing every minute that went by on my computer screen. I was really scared! I didn't think I'd ever be able to get up the courage to do this. I had to though. Again, it was a case of it not being like I would walk away because it seemed too scary.

We'd arranged to meet outside the common room, which was just around the corner from my classroom and a little bit further away from his. However, I was a few minutes late getting out of my class so I was sure that he'd be there waiting for me, and I wasn't sure what to do or say to him. There was a door leading outside to the common room, out of view. as I went to turn that corner I stopped. I was terrified! What was I going to do when I saw him?

I got up the courage and stepped outside. As I got around that corner I saw that he wasn't there yet. I wasn't sure whether to be relieved or annoyed that I was going to have to stand there waiting for him with all that nervousness again, and what was I going to do when I saw him coming around the corner? Later reports told me that when he did come around the corner, he was scared because I was already there.

I think I smiled when he came, although it was an unreal moment and my memory is kind of hazy to be honest! I remember putting my arms out to hug him and we did (and it was the best hug we'd ever had), but it was cold so it didn't last too long, and we went inside. We sat down next to each other and I still didn't know what to do or say. I kept telling him how nervous I was feeling and he told me I shouldn't be, but it was crazy. I was sat in the common room with my boyfriend! I really wanted to hug him again, but I didn't have the guts to do it myself or ask him to do it, and I think he was wary of taking steps that I wasn't ready for so we just sat there.

His next lesson started before mine, so we went back to where his lesson was in advance and stood there and hugged. It felt amazing. It was a proper long hug, and it was an intimate hug rather than a cuddle. I'd never had anything like this before in my life, so it was just out of this world. Every now and then he'd move his hands and the heat it sent through my clothes and onto my skin was just incredible.

As his classmates arrived for their class, we got a nice few comments as they walked past, but as the months passed I never stopped finding them funny. I'm told than when it was time for us to part and he went into his class he got a round of applause, to which he bowed and then flipped them off. It was a move so typical of him.

I managed to sneak away to see him on afternoon break. Over the months, I dont know how my tutor never managed to realise that I disappeared every Tuesday at 2.45. I think I had an edge above everyone else in my class that I actually got on with work 95% of the time, so maybe she did notice but just didn't care.

At breaktime that afternoon, we stood there and hugged for the whole 15 minutes. It was brilliant. Our legs hurt by the end and it started getting uncomfortable to be stood there, but it was still brilliant. At some point he started putting his hands on my bum (he may or may not have asked permission to do that, I can't remember), and that was amazing. It was like my bum was an erogenous zone!

I'd been really scared beforehand about seeing him and what would happen, but even though we hadn't even had a proper hour of time together since we'd been an item, I already felt that I couldn't live without this now and every second meant nothing apart from being one second closer to seeing him again.