Reverse Psychology

I'm not having a good day. I got a text this morning from my boyfriend telling me he wouldn't be over. I'm really missing him, but in a way I'm glad. Sorry if it's TMI, but I've got something inside me that's causing me discomfort whenever anything gets inserted, whether it's a toy or an actual penis. I dont know how it happened, but it must be a tear or a cut or something because the pain comes in quite a specific place. I've decided I'm not going to use toys for a bit to see if it heals on its own, since seeing a doctor isn't pleasant and its inconvenient. I'll do it if I have to, but I'll give my body a chance to fix itself first.

So, in a way I was glad, because him not coming over meant no sex, which meant I could leave my insides alone and give them some more time to heal. However, sitting here at my computer, I'm majorly turned on and the temptation to get the toys out is unbearable. I know I'll regret it if I do it because it'll aggrevate it and it wont heal so quickly, and it probably won't be that pleasurable either, but it's the reverse psychology. I dont get my toys out that often because I dont get the urge that often, but sitting here knowing I can't get the toys out leaves me gagging for it. Sigh...