Why I'm never buying from Ann Summers again

I remember having an online conversation with my boyfriend about if there was anything new he wanted to try, and he said there wasn't really anything we hadn't already tried that didn't involve any extra equipment. Given that, I'm sure there was something going on before this post other than just different positions, but I don't know what it was lol. All I can remember is investing in some different types of lube. If I remember anything else, I'll come back to it later.

So yes, he told me that there was nothing new to try that didn't involve any other kinds of equipment. It was an interesting statement, so I quizzed him about it and he told me he meant sex toys. This got my interest up quite a bit. Throughout my life, I'd rarely masturbated. I just never felt the urge and my fingers did nothing for me. The most significant solo sexual experience I'd had was a good few years before with a plastic tube I had that I put into myself. For the first two or three seconds it was intense, even though it was only about a centimentre in diameter. After that it didn't do a great deal for me but I continued to play with it anyway. I stayed in search of something a little bigger to insert into me to see what it felt like, but I never found anything. I have no idea how I never thought to buy a sex toy, but my libido was so low it was almost non-existent back then, and it was probably a sign of how naive and innocent I was back in those years.

Now my boyfriend had suggested getting a toy, it seemed just right and irresistable. I really wanted to try one. We agreed that I was gonna have a look around and see if there was one I liked the look of and there was no big rush, but as I started looking I found that it was getting more and more painful not owning one. I really wanted to try it now!

This all started when I was out shopping a few days later. I hadn't gone out for that specific purpose, but as I was wondering around the shops I noticed an Ann Summers. It seemed kind of scary, but I got up the courage to go in under the pretense that I would look at the underwear first, and I could sneak into the toy section if I felt I had the courage! I went in and had a wonder around, but there were two women in there browsing and one of the assistants. I really didn't want the assistant to be there, I just wanted to have a look on my own. Eventually the two women left and I realised that the assistant was placed in the toy section and wasn't moving, so I either had to look with her there or not look at all.

I went in, feeling incredibly sheepish. After perhaps a minute the assistant came up to me and started talking, asking me if I needed any help. She asked me some questions and I told her I'd never used a toy before so she gave me a lovely little talk about which ones they'd recommend for newbies and showed me some of the different features. It turned out not as half as bad as I thought it was going to be. There was one toy there I kind of liked, but decided not to rush into it. By the time I got home though I really wanted the toy! The more I think about things, especially toys, the more I want them.

I showed the toy to my boyfriend on the Ann Summers website. The vibe I'd picked out was the Sweet As Candy one they sell. I spent alot of time thinking about it, and by Monday I wanted it badly. I considered ordering it from their website but as it was a weekend at the time I wasn't going to get it any sooner. It would be quicker for me to go to the shop on Monday and save myself a few quid on the delivery as well. So, I was going to go on another shopping trip, although I didn't want my journey to be in vain if the shop I was going to (which was a different branch of Ann Summers to the one I'd gone to before) didn't have it in stock. I had to go down to my garden shed to phone the store so I could have some privacy! The call only lasted 20 seconds at the most, but it felt really scary! I was phoning a sex shop to ask if they had a specific vibrator in stock!

They did have it in stock, so I caught the bus and went to Ann Summers and bought my vibrator. It was a thrill, I couldn't wait to get home to use it!

Sadly, I got it home and it didn't work. I explored the device for a good while, thinking that it might just be me being new to toys not knowing how they work, but other than the button on the bottom there was nothing else that looked like it was any use. Disappointed, I returned to the shop a few days later and got a replacement. I took batteries with me so I could test it once I'd got it so I wasn't all the way home again if the next one didn't work, but they tested it in the shop for me and proved the new one did indeed work. I once again got my excitement up, except this time was worse because I had college that afternoon, so I had to take the vibrator to college with me! It felt incredibly naughty.

I got home really excited to be trying it out. I went up to my room, locked the door, took my trousers off, lubed up and off we go. It would have been great were it not for the fact that less than two minutes in, this vibrator gave up as well. I really wasn't impressed.

Another trip back to Ann Summers. I was increasingly annoyed this time because it wasn't a college day this time and it meant having to buy a bus ticket that I wouldn't have ordinarily bought, so it cost me extra money. If I was a more confrontational person, I could have kicked up a fuss about the extra money their faulty products were costing me, but I'm not so I didn't. I should have though.

They offered me another replacement, but as I'd already had two broken ones I had no interest in getting a third one that was going to break, especially since it wasn't very convenient for me to keep coming back. I asked for my money back. They seemed reluctant but they couldn't refuse. The store manager (who they needed to authorise a cash refund) was on lunch break at the time, so I had to wait around for a few minutes while they tracked her down and brought her back. During this time they got me to look at their other toys and see if there was anything else I wanted, but by this point I'd already ordered another toy from a website and I'd told myself I wasn't ever going to buy an Ann Summers toy again. The manager came and tried to persuade me to have a different toy rather than a replacement, and I ended up having to tell her I'd got a different toy from somewhere else before she'd give me the money. I really don't think they wanted to refund me but they couldn't legally refuse.

What made this third visit worse was that as well as having to buy a bus ticket I wouldn't have otherwise bought, I'd actually gotten a lift into town with my mum and she was also wondering around the shops (after I finally managed to ditch her). I was terrified she was going to walk past the shop and spot me at the till with a sex toy on the counter!

It actually turned out for the best, as I now have loads of toys which I might not have had if my Ann Summers toy had worked. The second part of my sex toy story will be coming later.