Say hello to Clyde!

My toy box is practically overflowing. If it weren't for the fact that I have a separate box I keep my shoes in that I can just about squeeze a few rabbits into then there's no way I'd be able to shut the lid on my main toybox. Rabbits are more solo toys anyway, so it works out okay for the moment, even though I've gotta unlock both boxes when I do go solo to get my lube out too. I'm planning on buying some new toys soon, but I have no idea where I'm going to keep them!

I've been searching for a nice, large, lockable toybox for some time, but so far my searches have been in vain. During this search, there's been something of a spanner thrown into the works in the form of my mum. She's told my sister that she knows we both have things in our room she doesn't want to see and she won't go looking for them. Okay, that's cool. She knows we have sex toys, I know she has sex toys. If nothing ever gets said, that's fine, but I'm worried if I get too big a box (I really want a huge box my collection can grow into!) then she's gonna know what's in there and know the size of my collection! I'm pretty sure my mum knows I have sex toys, but I really don't think she knows that the amount I have is in double figures.

There are far too many toys in my main toybox to possibly talk about in one post, but I thought I'd give a little insight into my 'other' toybox.

I don't think I've spoken about my favourite rabbit yet. Everyone, say hello to Clyde. Clyde is my favourite rabbit. I'm not sure where the name Clyde came from, but oh well. Clyde is actually a LoveHoney Jessica Rabbit 2.0, and he is amazing. In a way it's a shame that Clyde was my first ever rabbit, because I've tried others since and they just haven't compared. I love the movement on the shaft, the beads and the power of the ears, even if I've pressed them so hard into my clit so often that they tend to move more side to side than up and down, but oh well. I've been debating getting a replacement, but he's not in such a bad condition I need to do that yet. He's very much loved.

I've been debating whether I should get the G-spot version on the rabbit amnesty. I've recently been discovering my G-spot (well, sort of) and it looks interesting, but I'm not sure. I bought my sister the slimline version for Christmas last year, and I'm pretty sure the girth is the same. I'm quite the hypocrite, you know. I see so many posts on forums around the internet from guys worrying about if they're not long/girthy enough, and I'm always "It's not the size of the prize, it's the motion of the ocean", which is really really true when we're talking about cocks, but toys are just a whole different story with me. Gimme girth! Within reason.

Part of what I love about Clyde is the beads on the bottom. If I really push I can get most of them inside me, and they feel wonderful just inside, where the most sensitive part is. Plus Clyde gets points for having girth AND the motion of the ocean!

I love you Clyde!

x

Polyamory

When I started this blog, this was a topic that I told myself just had to be written about, but I got distracted. Never mind, here I am now.

Polyamory. For those of you who don't know, polyamory is "the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved."





The reason I want to write about this topic is because my boyfriend is polyamorous. Polyamory seems to get some bad press when I've seen other people talking about it on the internet, which is why I want to try and dismiss the myth and tell you all what it's really all about and what it's like to be like it, or be with someone who lives like it.

I've had many an argument with my sister over the topic. I love a good debate, and polyamory used to be the number one topic I used to bring up whenever the mood took me. I have a video of one such debate tucked away somewhere.

Her basic points were these: When you truly love someone, you should want to be with them and nobody else. When you love someone else, they are enough.

I tried to argue back, but her argument at the time was that I'd never had a boyfriend so I couldn't possibly know what it was really like. And at the time, she had a point.

However, what neither of us anticipated was the fact that a little bit later on in my life, the guy who made me aware of polyamory in the first place was going to become my first ever boyfriend. My sister had anticipated that once I got a boyfriend I'd completely change my mind about the poly thing, but I didn't.

That's not to say that I completely agree with polyamory 100% of the time, but that's what I'm here to write about.

I'd like to dispel the idea that polyamory is cheating, because it isn't. Polyamory has to be consensual - all people involved have to know and agree. Therefore, it's not cheating because it's not breaking the rules.

But why would anyone want to be poly? As my sister said, when you love someone, they should be all you want, right? Not necessarily. Nobody is perfect. Some people are better for some things than others. Having multiple partners gets you a more well-rounded experience, you can have more of what you want, even if it means getting it from more than one person. Is it selfish? Perhaps, but is it more selfish than wanting to keep one person all to yourself? Despite knowing that you can't give them everything they want? I'll leave you to decide on that one.

So, polyamory and me. My boyfriend is poly. I won't lie and say I'm 100% happy about it because I'm not (although I have become more and more accepting of it as time has gone on), but I can live with it. I knew my boyfriend was poly before we started going out, so I feel it would be wrong of me to complain about it when I knew beforehand. Of course, that's not to say I can't voice my concerns about it, which I have done and is what has led me to become okay about it.

The key to holding successful relationships with polyamory involved is communication. I'm a relatively strong person emotionally (hormones screw me up sometimes, but other than that I'm strong) but it still makes me a little insecure. It's not for the faint-hearted, relationship-wise. It all has to be consensual or else it's just cheating. It's important early on to tell your partner about it. If you both feel strongly about it for and against, then both partners need to assess themselves. Can the polyamorous partner bear to be monogamous? Does the love for the partner overcome the need for polyamory? On the flip side of the coin, can the monogamous partner live with their partner being poly? If the answers to these questions conflict, then you need to assess whether you can really be a couple.

Me and my boyfriend have had such a talk, and I felt so much better after. I was obviously aware of him being poly and we'd spoken about it, but I needed a bit more clarification on it. It basically came down to this: We both love each other hugely and would do anything for each other. However, I would prefer that my boyfriend wasn't polyamorous. He, on the other hand, feels quite strongly that he remains that way. He has told me, and it gave me a feeling of incredible security, that if I told him I wanted him to stop then he would. I'm more important to him than being poly, but right now, given his strong feelings about it, I don't feel the need to make him stop. So far, in the year and a half we've been together, he's yet to have another girlfriend, and I've never felt the need to forbid it in case I get jealous. If I knew I'd get jealous, I might be more inclined to say no to it, but I'm not convinced and seeing as he's happier about himself that way, then I might as well let him. Basically, his love for me is stronger than his need for to be poly, but my love for him and my want for him to be happy is stronger than my desire for him to be monogamous. I can't say that I wouldn't be completely without emotion if he did get another girlfriend, but so far hoping that he never does has been working well enough. I'll reassess the situation if it ever comes up.

There is a perhaps obvious question that this issue brings up, perhaps more obvious to the more insecure among you. What's to say that he won't find another girlfriend he loves more than me? How do I know that won't happen, I try to forbid it and then he turns around and says bye? The fact is, I don't. I just have to trust him and trust that he won't. There's an awful lot of back story between us that I may or may not have written about earlier, so I have a lot of faith in the fact that he truly loves me and I'm 'The One' for him. Of course, him loving someone else more than me is never completely impossible, as much as anyone claims it is or how romantic it feels. You can never know what the future holds. I'm not insecure enough to worry about it now though. I'll worry about it in the unlikely event that it happens.

The other thing polyamory hangs on is agreement and compromise. What polyamory should never be is 'I'm poly, deal with it!' If my boyfriend said that to me, I'd have to turn around and say 'Erm, no'. Hell, nothing in any relationship should be about one partner doing what they want and screw the feelings of the other. Me and my boyfriend do have agreements in this area. If anything happens with another girl, I want to know immediately. Partly because I'd be happier that way, partly because if I did start getting bad emotions, I could put a stop to whatever was happening before it gets too involved. If I let it continue, I may or may not want to know everything that went on between them. I'd have to decide at the time. If I found that he did have another girlfriend on the go and he didn't tell me, I'd consider it a serious betrayal of trust and I'd have to seriously consider whether I could continue my relationship with him. My two further points, which I'm not sure if we've discussed (but he'll be reading this so he'll know now!) are those which I'd worry about when the time comes. If he had another girlfriend and he wanted sex to get involved, I'd insist on her getting an STI test before anything could happen. I'd be seriously pissed if I caught an STI from him because he caught it from her, after I'd been gracious enough to let him do it with another girl. The second point is that when he makes the move from boyfriend to fiancé, the polyamorism stops, or at least gets renegotiated. I'm pretty sure he'd agree to that.

The interesting thing about all of this is where this leaves me in terms of other partners. My boyfriend has bestowed upon me all the same benefits he gets. It would be hypocritical of him to expect me to allow him multiple partners but forbid me from doing the same. I wouldn't class myself as polyamorist, but I do enjoy these benefits. I love being able to perv on other people without there being jealousy involved! I am so incredibly grateful for my boyfriend and the way he is. In some ways he's an awful first boyfriend, because if we ever broke up I'd never be able to find anyone else who was up to that high standard. I think I'd have to be single for the rest of my life. It's not just to do with the polyamory either, it's everything.

I don't properly consider myself polyamorist because I don't feel the need for another boyfriend. Not like my sister said, because I love him so much, I don't need anyone else. I feel that he gives me everything I need, so I don't need anyone else. If he didn't, I might consider it, although I think I'd have to subscribe to his heirarchy thing he's got going on. Polyamory is not like the polygamy you've heard of, especially in the religions where you're supposed to treat each of your partners the same. My boyfriend has primaries and secondaries, and that's what I'd do too. Some people might try to have more than one primary, but my boyfriend says it's impractical to do in reality. So, you'd have one main boyfriend/girlfriend, and then you'd have one or more other partners, more like friends with benefits. He may have made mention of tertiaries, but I can't really remember now. As long as I'm firmly positioned in the only primary spot, then I'm good! Any partners I had other than my current boyfriend would be secondaries. Additions rather than alternatives.

I don't want another boyfriend, but I can't say that I'll never want another boyfriend. I never say never now. I once said I'd never put a cock in my mouth, and look at me now. If not for that reason, I'd say I was almost monogamous, but my bisexuality is thrown into the mix. I don't want another boyfriend, but a female secondary would be nice. I'd almost go as far to say I could handle two primaries, my boyfriend and then one girlfriend, but women are insane (I know because I am one! I couldn't handle a relationship with myself or anyone who thinks similarly) and I just don't want a proper relationship with a woman. A female fuck buddy would be very nice, and I appreciate my boyfriend being polyamorist and open. I felt no embarrassment or guilt over the admission that actually, if the opportunity arose, I wouldn't mind a 'girlfriend', and it was a joy to know that. It feeds into the idea that you get what you need from more than one person. I feel I get everything I need from a man from my man, but there are some things I would like if I could have them that men just can't do, either by inclination or anatomy. I still don't consider myself properly polyamorist though. I don't know if there's a word for having only two partners (biamory perhaps? I'll Google it later), but for me there would only ever be one man and one woman for me at a time.

It does feel strange that the model of polyamory I subscribe to isn't the same as the one my boyfriend does, but it comes from me being bisexual. He's straight. He's a man, and there's things he just can't do because of that, hence why I'd want a girlfriend on the side. On the other hand, him having other girls, there's nothing they could do that I absolutely couldn't. Why the need? As I said earlier, agreeing to disagree and hoping nothing ever comes of it has been working okay so far, I'll hope that that continues. I don't consider it burying my head in the sand, it's just worrying about things and dealing with the possible self-esteem issues when they happen. If it did happen, I trust my boyfriend enough to know that he'd follow my wishes, whatever they turned out to be.

A long, serious blog post there. I'll leave you with a little fantasy I've just had. Imagine how awesome it would be if my boyfriend found another girlfriend who was bisexual, and it turned out me and her liked each other too. It would be like a three-way relationship. Oh, the fun we could have...

All you need is love!

I promised that my next post would be happy and sunshiney, but you might have to settle for soppy.

I really do love my boyfriend so. It's so easy to write about him when I'm feeling all down and angry because he's done this or he hasn't done that, but I really do love him to pieces. I wrote in my last post that I feel like I lack some of the maturities that come with experience in relationships, but recently I've been feeling like I've made some personal progress in that area.

Things have been a bit difficult for my boyfriend lately and for a month or two we hadn't been seeing each other as much. For the moment it seems to have passed and we've been seeing each other more often. The reason is still there so it may well go back to what it was, but for the moment it seems easier to get to see each other. Coming out of the other side of this, getting to see him more, has made me really really appreciate the time I get with him.  It seems peculiar that it's happening now when I see him, rather than the more rare opportunities when I was seeing him before, but there almost felt a kind of desperateness before to it. When I was extremely lucky to get a few hours a week with him, I was unable to relax. It had always been so long since the last time that I felt like I should be savouring every moment. Now it's more regular, I'm more able to sit back and really enjoy it. I feel so loved up it's insane.

I believe it is always of utmost importance to remember how much you really love someone. I find it so easy to get stressed or upset if it's been a while since I last saw him, but I think this is one of those maturities that's growing on me. I'm much better than I was at the beginning, but I'm aware that I'm probably a pain to be with sometimes. I know he loves me and says he doesn't mind, but in some ways I'm still waiting for the day where he's gonna turn around and say 'For Christ's sake, can you not leave your phone alone for a bit?' I don't have the experience to always know where the line is between being needy and normal girlfriend behaviour. I'm extremely lucky in that my boyfriend says he loves me unconditionally, and he's unjudging and incredibly open-minded. I'm so grateful for that, but sometimes I feel like this has meant I've lost the ability to censor myself and consider whether the things I say should really be said. There's next to nothing I could say to him that would get a negative reaction (sometimes I think if we broke up, he'd be okay with the fact if I felt I would honestly be happier that way), but despite that I still think I say too much sometimes.

Anyway, where that last paragraph was originally going was that it's always important to remember how much you love someone. When I don't see him often, it's easier to think bad things. There's been times where I've honestly thought 'This relationship isn't making me happy right now', but I just have to remind myself how much I love him and he loves me, and it's completely worth waiting for. I know that our 'hard times' are nothing compared to the hard times other couples have and I feel a bit stupid if I'm honest that hard times for me has consisted of just not getting to see each other, but that's not to say that the emotional pain I was in some days wasn't real or somehow of less worth. This little trial has left me stronger on the other side.

This was meant to be a happy, soppy post. Perhaps it doesn't sound like it so much, but I'm really writing this out of love.

I sort of feel like every post I write like this is digging me deeper into a hole. I don't meant it to be, but sometimes I just feel the need to open my soul a little bit. I love my boyfriend completely, and whatever bad or seemingly bad stuff happens, my love for him will always be a million times stronger, and forever unwavering.

I like to think that after reading this post, everyone would take a moment to think of their special someone and   remember how much you love them. If you love each other, then anything else that happens can be overcome.

Damn, I'm in the mood for kisses and cuddles now.

What I learnt from Cosmopolitan magazine

I bought a copy of Cosmopolitan magazine over the weekend. To be honest, I quite dislike this magazine and everything it stands for, but I wanted something to read while I was at work, and the gorgeous Mistress Cara was in there so I had to!

A few of the other girls at work have bought copies in the past and have left them lying around, meaning I've had some exposure to this magazine in the past. Up until now, I've just felt that this magazine really isn't for me, but this issue had me really wound up. I weep for the future of humanity, wound up.

I've already spoken on this blog of how I was a late starter in life. I didn't get my first boyfriend until I was almost 22, so sometimes I feel a little behind in the sense that I feel I lack some of the maturities that come from experience in relationships. There are times when I act like a schoolgirl with her first crush and sometimes I feel a little stupid and embarrassed afterwards. I thank the lord that I never read Cosmo as a teenager. It would have screwed me over for life. The tips and advice this magazine gives out, it's a wonder that any of these women have partners at all. There are men in there as well sometimes, and they all deserve a slap too. Let me talk you through June's issue of Cosmopolitan.

We're five pages into the magazine before we actually reach anything readable. Contents and a load of ads for perfume. Okay.

"On the cover" page tells me how to "steal Kimberly's sexy look". Steal her look or steal her makeup bag? The hours that must go into making herself up every day before she's able to walk out the door must be astronomical. So much makeup! Admittedly this is a photoshoot and I doubt she wears that much day to day, but still.

What I've been told:

• Wearing all this stuff can make me sexy

What I've actually learnt:

• So many issues. Look close enough at a sexy woman like this and you might actually be able to see her real face underneath. Does it mean I'm not sexy because I don't wear any?

The first article that really gets me worked up is the confessions article, which features confessions from women who dump men for stupid reasons. I officially give you permission to slap me if I ever dump a boyfriend for a reason as petty as being unable to spell, having a weird laugh or having arms that might be a little bit too short. This to me is just a tiny glimpse into the world of these insane women who have unrealistically high standards. There is no way that any real man can actually live up to the image this magazine is saying they should be, and it seems if they're not then it's fine to dump them. Don't settle for anything less than perfection!

What I've been told:

• Don't settle for anything less than perfection.

What I've actually learnt:

• Perhaps Cosmo will help the planet by keeping the population down. With relationship tips like these, there's no way any of these women will be able to hold down a relationship long enough to have kids.

The next article irritates me. How to have sex to fall in love. I'm cool with harnessing the power of hormones, but if I was a lad and read any of the articles in this magazine, I'd be unable to have sex again without wondering whether my girl had some kind of ulterior motive.

What I've been told:

• If there are any problems at all in your relationship, sex is the answer! You can totally use hormones to your advantage.
• Hell, forget having a personality or anything like that. You don't need that to get a boyfriend. Just use sex!

What I've actually learnt:

• Can we not just have sex because it feels good? Should I be having some kind of ulterior motive every time I want sex?
• The way they talk about these hormones, it's almost like legal drugging.

Next, an article from some guys talking about what men think. I hope this article is exaggerated or just a bad choice of men answering the questions. Sheesh, I thought it was women were supposed to be the ones who were complicated. I hope my boyfriend doesn't analyse my actions like these men do. I'm never going to leave anything at my boyfriend's house, I'd be too worried about his reaction if this article is anything to go by!

Centrefold section, featuring 21 topless men 'so hot we had to seal it!'

What I've been told:

• These men are insanely hot.

What I've actually learnt:

• Yup, I'm definitely bisexual. Despite the range of different bodies in here, none of them do a thing for me.

Further things this magazine taught me:

• All your friends are manipulative bitches. Don't try going on holiday with them.
• If there's something that your father must never know, it's a good idea to write your story in a national magazine.
• I'm practically obese because I have curves.
• I should be seriously concerned about my relationship. Chances are 80% we're going to split up because we don't have the same sexuality. I wish I knew who they were surveying for this.
• I'm really untrendy.
• You can burn off a packet of crisps by sleeping for three hours. Apparently.
• My best chance to get pregnant in years arrives this month. I don't want to get pregnant.
• Whether a celeb is an acceptable crush to have seems to depend on their status rather than their looks. For example, Gordon Ramsey and Simon Cowell yes, but Noel Edmonds no. Feel free to argue with me here, but I'd say Noel Edmonds is better than both of them. Older perhaps, but at least he's not consumed with himself.
• It's totally okay as a professional photographer to submit photos for a glossy magazine that are out of focus and have red eye in them. Hell, the last issue of Cosmopolitan I read was November last year, and the photo on the front cover was out of focus!
• This magazine gives you nightmares. No, really. I've written this blog post over two days, and the night inbetween I had my worst nightmare in years, and I can trace 90% of it back to something I read in Cosmo.
• My boyfriend was really into me on the day I was reading this. How do I know? He texted me between 12 noon and 5pm. Anything after 11pm means you mean nothing to him.
• My boyfriend and I must both be freaks. This is because neither of us would be freaked if I said my idea of getting kinky was playful spanking or rubber underwear.
• Guys hate dirty, kinky talk.
• I didn't have sex with my boyfriend until almost four months into our relationship. Something must have been seriously wrong. I mean, we should have been having sex before we were together!

This magazine seriously gets me wound up. It's so completely shallow, and its views on sex are extremely vanilla. The most deviant it gets are the adverts for sex toys in the back, which are mixed in amongst the sea of ads for plastic surgery.



I will give it credit for the good things. There were bits in there about testicular cancer, stalkers, sexual health and some good advice which I feel goes to redeem it a little bit, and I'd be lying if I said I'd learnt nothing at all from their article on oral sex, but I do worry about the state of mind of the women who read this on a regular basis. It's like some insane new form of feminism where we're no longer subservient to men, but instead we are completely in control and being taught to manipulate men to get them exactly where we want them, but rather than burn our bras like we used to, we're going to look fabulous, darling!

I mean no offense anyone reading this who may be Cosmopolitan readers, but I think the only way you can really read this magazine and come out sane the other end is with a big dose of cynicism, and remember that much of what they present as facts are mostly just opinions. You're not half as shallow as the people writing it, and you're much better off for it.


P.S I'm aware that some of my recent posts have seemed quite cynical. I haven't meant it to be that way. I promise a nice, happy, sunshiney post next time!

Ecksvie

x

Going Without

As I mentioned in my previous post, I'm not getting to see my boyfriend at the moment as often as I'd like lately. If I'm honest, I hate it, but it does have its advantages.

There was a time when I was having sex several times a week, and I'd be getting my toys out several times a week as well. I had a high sex drive and I took full advantage of it. Lately though, with not getting to see my boyfriend as much, my body seems to be making changes. My sex drive seems to have dropped to a level where I'm able to cope with it. In fact, my body seems to perfectly adjust my drive to the level of what I'm actually getting, so I'm not left craving for more than I can have. I love my body for this.

This absence has made me wonder whether before I was having sex too much. I know, that's crazy talk! My point is, my body was used to it. Sex was a 'here we go again' kind of thing for my body and being touched didn't do much to get me wet, and it was through no fault of my boyfriend or the toys he/I was using. However, these days, it seems to be the most amazing experience ever. I seem to get really wet and it feels incredible. It's been like this for the last two or three times he's been. I can't even remember the last time we used lube during sex! Sex has suddenly become the most wonderful thing in the world again, and it's all because I haven't been having it as often as I want it. The same goes for my toys. They're still the same as ever, but because it's been forever since I've had him use them on me in that special way, they're a million times better than they were before.

So, it turns out there are advantages to not getting any after all.

Men and Women

Hello everyone! I realise it's been a while since I last made a proper post. Things have been all over the place, and if I'm honest things have been a bit difficult. My boyfriend is going through some difficult times with his family and it's made it difficult for us to get to see each other. Thinking about sex isn't something I really want to do too much of when I'm missing him loads, hence the lack of detailed blog posts.

This is actually a third attempt at a post. I wrote two more posts before this, before I saw my boyfriend today, and it all had me down so much that I ended up crying a lot and writing some things that it wouldn't have been proper for me to post on the internet. I wrote them down and got them off my chest though, which was an important thing for me to do, even if I was back in the same state a few days later.

Everything that's been going on lately has really highlighted some key differences between men and women. Before when I was single, I didn't see the differences quite as much, but these days they seem blindingly obvious.

I know many other women, and it has come to my attention that this is the way of life: Men will always fail to do things that us women consider the most basic and important, and us women will always get pissed off by it. If you're a woman in a long-term relationship, I can almost guarantee that there will be something your partner does or doesn't do that will majorly piss you off, but he continues to do it. With me, he doesn't text me anywhere near as much as I'd like. I have told him off about this more times than I could possibly count, and yet he still doesn't text me more.

I do believe it takes a certain strength in your character to make a relationship like this work. As mentioned, I've told him how much it bothers me countless times. Credit where credit's due, he's a million times better than he used to be, but I believe that I've hit a brick wall and it's just not who he is to be sending me texts every day or unless I've texted him first. It still bothers me though.

There was once a time when I'd have advised someone in a similar situation that they can do better. Nobody deserves to be in a relationship with a partner who doesn't do the things they need to be happy. My opinion on this has somewhat changed though.

Call me soppy, but I believe the deciding factor is love! I truly love my boyfriend, and he leaves me in no doubt whether he loves me, and I believe this is worth working for. There have been times when I've been feeling incredibly down and somewhat hormonal. Texting is one of the quickest and easiest ways to keep me happy and he doesn't do it enough. It's true that I could probably find someone else who would text me more, and during these dark times I feel like I should dump him and find one of these people. However, it needs to be put into perspective. I'd be embarrassed to tell anyone that I dumped him for not texting me enough to be honest, and the only reason I'd consider it (apart from having a bad day/hormones) is because how down it makes me. When I think about why it does that though, it's because I love him. I need his presence in my life!

I think the problem is that we're made to have unrealistically high expectations of men. A combination of being female and the men we see in the media. Throughout our lives, we're made to swoon over men who the media make out to be perfect. Just open up any womens' magazine. We're never exposed to the flaws men have.

Male and female minds think completely differently. We just don't function on the same wavelength. It's not that my boyfriend doesn't bother to text me more, it's just that the thought never crosses his mind. It seems the most basic thing to me, but there you are. I see it in almost every man. My mum gets angry at my dad because he never asks how my sister is doing when she goes to visit her. Again, it's not being rude or anything, it just doesn't cross his mind. Us women are a complicated bunch, but I believe we're also a very intelligent group. We operate on a level far deeper than most men do. We think differently, and we tend to get annoyed when men don't operate the same.

There are a number of lessons my experience has taught me.

Nobody is perfect, and you're doomed to disappoint yourself if that's what you're waiting for.

There will be times during your relationship where you want to smack your partner in the face.

You should always tell your partner if something they do is bothering you.

Watch out for the key difference - there's a difference between not doing what you've asked and not being capable of doing what you've asked. Their brains just don't work that way, and they don't do it to spite you.

This one thing, it will always piss you off. I've learnt to accept that he's not gonna text me any more than he does, but it will never stop annoying me.

The most important thing in any relationship isn't how much they text you or take you out to dinner or anything like that, it's love.


I'm not saying that anyone should have to put up with a relationship where the man obviously isn't putting the effort in, or is purposely doing things that seriously upset them, but sometimes it's important to remember how much you love each other and why you do, despite the little things that drive you mad. It's easy to get caught in the moment when they're not doing something you want, but try and remember all the things they do that make you happy.

Kink threshold - what is it?

Surprisingly low, but it is very slowly getting higher.

It's very closely tied into my pain threshold, which is very low. My limit seems to have been handcuffs and blindfolds for ages now, although we have been getting into spanking fights recently (I spank him, he spanks me back, I spank him a bit harder and we keep going harder and harder until one of us can't take it any more. I've yet to win), and I've been having aggressive fantasies where I just want to slap him and call him a fucking whore. Not sure I could really do that in reality though, I love him too much!

I'm not sure if I could say what the absolute limit is, because the things I'm willing to try are always changing, so it stands to reason that my limit changes along with it. I don't think I could ever do anything involving feces. You're probably best off asking me specific things and if I'd do them or not!

Ask me anything

What's your favourite underwear for comfort, and for feel-smexy factor?

I have three categories of underwear in my possession: Boring, don't wanna let my boyfriend see underwear that's really comfy and I wear on days when I'm not seeing him. Very little, if any, of it matches. This is made up of cotton undies and boyshorts bought primarily from Primark. This category is also split into two more categories. Underwear I can actually wear from this category in front of my boyfriend if the rest is in the wash, and the ugly as sin, faded variety where I'd be better off going commando than letting him see.

Category two is nicer underwear that I try to save for 'boyfriend days'. This involves mostly matching sets, satin, lace and nice underwear. Not usually as comfortable as category one but I can wear it day to day.

Category three is made up of purely for show underwear. Stockings and corsets mainly. I love stockings because they bring my waist in, which is where my biggest body issue lies.

To conclude, my favourite underwear for comfort is a black and red pair of boyshorts with red heart buttons I bought from Primark. They're really comfy! Paired up with a white bra with black lace and black polka dots. It doesn't match at all but it's really really comfy. I bought it from the internet and accidentally ordered two, but I didn't mind because it's the most comfortable bra ever.

For sexy feel-good factor, I love corsets. I have a blue and gold one which is absolutely stunning if I do say so myself! Sadly, blue and gold accessories just don't exist.

Ask me anything

rubber silicone or jelly?

I've never used a jelly toy, only ever silicone so I don't feel fully qualified to answer this question! I have seen a jelly toy in Ann Summers before, and it felt really weird! I'd want to use one before passing judgement though.

Silicone is interesting since I own some cheap silicone toys and some more expensive ones, and you can definitely tell the difference in quality.

Ask me anything

What is your fave toy?

Bah, I can't be made to choose!

I think I'd say my LoveHoney Jessica Rabbit 2.0. I've got quite a few brilliant toys, but the rabbit can make me orgasm on its own, whereas the others I need to pair up with another toy to get the full vaginal/clit package. I need both to make me orgasm properly. That's why I like my rabbit, because it does both at once! Also love the moving shaft, none of my other toys do that.

Ask me anything

Hugs or kisses?

I say hugs. Kisses are the kind of thing I think you have to be in the proper mood for - you get good kisses and not so good kisses, depending on whether both parties are "feeling it". Hugs are always good!

Hugs are also a powerful tool since they're not restricted to just your partner.

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What's your favourite position for anal?

I haven't done anal yet! Not properly with a cock, at least. I was given a plug for Valentine's Day that has been interesting to play with, but I'm not sure that anal is for me. It feels sort of weird. I still want to try it some more though, as it's something that I do want to like. I think I'll need more practice with my boyfriend though.

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Have you ever had a threesome and if so was it fun?

Never had one, although I'm open to the idea. Would very much like a MFF threesome to explore my bisexual side, although I might be up for a MMF threesome as well.

I'm open to the idea, but if the opportunity came up I'd have to consider it very carefully. I like to think I don't take sex too seriously, but having a threesome is something I'd have to think about beforehand to make sure it worked out for all parties involved.

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Would you ever do ass to mouth?

I have had it done to me, but I've not done it as of yet. I wouldn't say that I'd never do it, but there's a big barrier of grossness in the way right now. I want to do it, but can't bring myself to yet. One day, maybe!

Ask me anything

I'm a sexy lady!