All you need is love!

I promised that my next post would be happy and sunshiney, but you might have to settle for soppy.

I really do love my boyfriend so. It's so easy to write about him when I'm feeling all down and angry because he's done this or he hasn't done that, but I really do love him to pieces. I wrote in my last post that I feel like I lack some of the maturities that come with experience in relationships, but recently I've been feeling like I've made some personal progress in that area.

Things have been a bit difficult for my boyfriend lately and for a month or two we hadn't been seeing each other as much. For the moment it seems to have passed and we've been seeing each other more often. The reason is still there so it may well go back to what it was, but for the moment it seems easier to get to see each other. Coming out of the other side of this, getting to see him more, has made me really really appreciate the time I get with him.  It seems peculiar that it's happening now when I see him, rather than the more rare opportunities when I was seeing him before, but there almost felt a kind of desperateness before to it. When I was extremely lucky to get a few hours a week with him, I was unable to relax. It had always been so long since the last time that I felt like I should be savouring every moment. Now it's more regular, I'm more able to sit back and really enjoy it. I feel so loved up it's insane.

I believe it is always of utmost importance to remember how much you really love someone. I find it so easy to get stressed or upset if it's been a while since I last saw him, but I think this is one of those maturities that's growing on me. I'm much better than I was at the beginning, but I'm aware that I'm probably a pain to be with sometimes. I know he loves me and says he doesn't mind, but in some ways I'm still waiting for the day where he's gonna turn around and say 'For Christ's sake, can you not leave your phone alone for a bit?' I don't have the experience to always know where the line is between being needy and normal girlfriend behaviour. I'm extremely lucky in that my boyfriend says he loves me unconditionally, and he's unjudging and incredibly open-minded. I'm so grateful for that, but sometimes I feel like this has meant I've lost the ability to censor myself and consider whether the things I say should really be said. There's next to nothing I could say to him that would get a negative reaction (sometimes I think if we broke up, he'd be okay with the fact if I felt I would honestly be happier that way), but despite that I still think I say too much sometimes.

Anyway, where that last paragraph was originally going was that it's always important to remember how much you love someone. When I don't see him often, it's easier to think bad things. There's been times where I've honestly thought 'This relationship isn't making me happy right now', but I just have to remind myself how much I love him and he loves me, and it's completely worth waiting for. I know that our 'hard times' are nothing compared to the hard times other couples have and I feel a bit stupid if I'm honest that hard times for me has consisted of just not getting to see each other, but that's not to say that the emotional pain I was in some days wasn't real or somehow of less worth. This little trial has left me stronger on the other side.

This was meant to be a happy, soppy post. Perhaps it doesn't sound like it so much, but I'm really writing this out of love.

I sort of feel like every post I write like this is digging me deeper into a hole. I don't meant it to be, but sometimes I just feel the need to open my soul a little bit. I love my boyfriend completely, and whatever bad or seemingly bad stuff happens, my love for him will always be a million times stronger, and forever unwavering.

I like to think that after reading this post, everyone would take a moment to think of their special someone and   remember how much you love them. If you love each other, then anything else that happens can be overcome.

Damn, I'm in the mood for kisses and cuddles now.