Men and Women

Hello everyone! I realise it's been a while since I last made a proper post. Things have been all over the place, and if I'm honest things have been a bit difficult. My boyfriend is going through some difficult times with his family and it's made it difficult for us to get to see each other. Thinking about sex isn't something I really want to do too much of when I'm missing him loads, hence the lack of detailed blog posts.

This is actually a third attempt at a post. I wrote two more posts before this, before I saw my boyfriend today, and it all had me down so much that I ended up crying a lot and writing some things that it wouldn't have been proper for me to post on the internet. I wrote them down and got them off my chest though, which was an important thing for me to do, even if I was back in the same state a few days later.

Everything that's been going on lately has really highlighted some key differences between men and women. Before when I was single, I didn't see the differences quite as much, but these days they seem blindingly obvious.

I know many other women, and it has come to my attention that this is the way of life: Men will always fail to do things that us women consider the most basic and important, and us women will always get pissed off by it. If you're a woman in a long-term relationship, I can almost guarantee that there will be something your partner does or doesn't do that will majorly piss you off, but he continues to do it. With me, he doesn't text me anywhere near as much as I'd like. I have told him off about this more times than I could possibly count, and yet he still doesn't text me more.

I do believe it takes a certain strength in your character to make a relationship like this work. As mentioned, I've told him how much it bothers me countless times. Credit where credit's due, he's a million times better than he used to be, but I believe that I've hit a brick wall and it's just not who he is to be sending me texts every day or unless I've texted him first. It still bothers me though.

There was once a time when I'd have advised someone in a similar situation that they can do better. Nobody deserves to be in a relationship with a partner who doesn't do the things they need to be happy. My opinion on this has somewhat changed though.

Call me soppy, but I believe the deciding factor is love! I truly love my boyfriend, and he leaves me in no doubt whether he loves me, and I believe this is worth working for. There have been times when I've been feeling incredibly down and somewhat hormonal. Texting is one of the quickest and easiest ways to keep me happy and he doesn't do it enough. It's true that I could probably find someone else who would text me more, and during these dark times I feel like I should dump him and find one of these people. However, it needs to be put into perspective. I'd be embarrassed to tell anyone that I dumped him for not texting me enough to be honest, and the only reason I'd consider it (apart from having a bad day/hormones) is because how down it makes me. When I think about why it does that though, it's because I love him. I need his presence in my life!

I think the problem is that we're made to have unrealistically high expectations of men. A combination of being female and the men we see in the media. Throughout our lives, we're made to swoon over men who the media make out to be perfect. Just open up any womens' magazine. We're never exposed to the flaws men have.

Male and female minds think completely differently. We just don't function on the same wavelength. It's not that my boyfriend doesn't bother to text me more, it's just that the thought never crosses his mind. It seems the most basic thing to me, but there you are. I see it in almost every man. My mum gets angry at my dad because he never asks how my sister is doing when she goes to visit her. Again, it's not being rude or anything, it just doesn't cross his mind. Us women are a complicated bunch, but I believe we're also a very intelligent group. We operate on a level far deeper than most men do. We think differently, and we tend to get annoyed when men don't operate the same.

There are a number of lessons my experience has taught me.

Nobody is perfect, and you're doomed to disappoint yourself if that's what you're waiting for.

There will be times during your relationship where you want to smack your partner in the face.

You should always tell your partner if something they do is bothering you.

Watch out for the key difference - there's a difference between not doing what you've asked and not being capable of doing what you've asked. Their brains just don't work that way, and they don't do it to spite you.

This one thing, it will always piss you off. I've learnt to accept that he's not gonna text me any more than he does, but it will never stop annoying me.

The most important thing in any relationship isn't how much they text you or take you out to dinner or anything like that, it's love.


I'm not saying that anyone should have to put up with a relationship where the man obviously isn't putting the effort in, or is purposely doing things that seriously upset them, but sometimes it's important to remember how much you love each other and why you do, despite the little things that drive you mad. It's easy to get caught in the moment when they're not doing something you want, but try and remember all the things they do that make you happy.