Oh God, it's a dick! I'm not going to suck it, honest...

I've realised now how little of the next section I can actually remember and how much of it comes from deduction of what must have happened, and this makes me sad. I wish I could remember it better, and you'd think I would! That's one of the purposes of this blog though - to write this stuff down before I forget it completely.

It may have been the next day when it all happened, maybe a bit more than that, but it certainly wasn't long. The next time we were in bed together, his pants came off.

I suppose I had something of a sheltered childhood. Even now, I feel like I should look away from him when he's standing there naked because of the presence of that penis. I think I've been conditioned that way. I came from a background where even the mention of sex was pretty seriously frowned upon. I remember once, a "friend" was over and she drew a picture of a drunk sperm and stuck it on my parents' wardrobe. They went mental when they found it later that night. Apart from diagrams in science and sex education lessons, there'd only ever been two occasions where I'd seen a real penis. The main one was catching the odd glimpse of my dad now and then when he was getting into the bath or something, so of course it was "AAAH!  LOOK AWAY!", and one other time when the previously mentioned friend's pre-pubescent brother got out a section of his dick (although not the head) in front of us to try and show us the bone in there that lent its name to the famous boner. Like most other things sexual throughout my life, I was probably far too old before I realised that boners weren't called that because the penis had a bone in it.

Being there with my boyfriend then was the first time I'd ever seen a real dick. I wanted to look, it was fascinating. I'd never seen one before, not even in a photo, and it was nice to be able to put an image to what I'd been touching up in the car before. However, there was also 22 years of conditioning in me that was incredibly difficult to resist. He was completely naked and I shouldn't look at it. It was so hard for me to tell myself that he was my boyfriend and I was allowed to look.


We got in bed, and then his dick was hidden away under the duvet. This was still a new experience to me though, as there were no pants and I was able to have my hands all over his bum. There was the added issue of all this man junk sitting there though. I don't consider there to be many advantages women have over men, but having all out sexual junk tucked away means that it doesn't get in harm's way when moving about in bed.


At this point, our sex lives together still consisted of nothing but him giving me oral with me on top, so this is what we proceeded to do. This time, however, he wasn't wearing underpants. I was on top of him, and his naked dick was underneath me, right in front of my face.


His dick was right in front of my face. I couldn't ignore it. I'd already touched it once before in the car, but it still felt every bit as scary touching it again. I could see it this time, and my hands were in a position where I'd be able to get much more contact and access to the whole area. I managed to do it though, and slowly, caressing it turned into a hand job. It was empowering to see how my hands could turn his dick from flaccid to erect. Still now, I love the feeling of knowing what my hands have done every time I give him an erection. I've just remembered now, actually. At one point he stopped me to adjust the position I was getting him off in. My head was actually a bit down past his dick, and I guess I ended up pulling his dick down further than was comfortable for him. Still, it was a learning experience.

Before any of this had happened, I'd told my boyfriend that it might take me days, weeks, maybe even months before I was ready to try oral on him. Funnily enough, I'd told him not that long before we got together that I couldn't imagine ever putting a guy's dick in my mouth, it was disgusting. He was kind of shocked, but he told me that I'd probably change my mind when I had a naked guy in front of me. Now here we were, and he was that naked guy.

I'd told him that I probably wouldnt be ready to do oral for ages, but now here we were, past the barrier where I was afraid to touch it. I'd probably been tossing him off for about 10 minutes at the very most, and I'd only seen him completely naked for the first time about 20-25 minutes ago, so I was a bit shocked that all of a sudden I was ready to try using my mouth.

I had a plan for building up to a blow job. On that day, I'd master the hand job. A little bit down the line, I'd lick the shaft a little bit. It was on the penis, but the shaft is really only skin. A few more days/weeks down the line, I'd move onto licking the head, and then eventually I'd have his dick in my mouth.

This went out of the window. I probably did about five seconds of licking the shaft at the most before I just went in for the kill and took his whole dick in my mouth, not even half an hour after the first time I'd seen him properly naked. I could hardly bear to look when he first got his pants off, and here I was now. I felt so naughty, but so impressed with myself. I like to think that me at that moment was the first moment of my transformation into what I am now. I was still all sweet and innocent before that point, even with all the oral sex I'd been recieving.

I already knew that I had an insanely strong gag reflex, inherited from my dad, but it really didn't help me. I got by alright on this first time though, because my focus wasn't so much on me giving him pleasure (although of course this was an aspect for me), but on me having this new experience and getting used to doing it.

The only way I can think to describe what a penis tastes like is salty. I don't really like using that word because I don't like salt on food, and I love the taste of my boyfriend's juice, but it's really the closest word I can use to describe it. It's not at all an unpleasant taste. To describe what it's like to someone who's never had a dick in their mouth before, I'd describe it like this: Imagine putting a small amount of salt in water and stirring it in, and then adding in just a small amount of sugar to take the bitter edge off. Add something in that'll make the water just a tad thicker, and that's probably about as close as you're going to get. It varies a bit though. Sometimes the taste will fade away more, and every now and then a little bit more juice comes out and it's absolutely delicious. I'm jealous of lesbians in this sense (based on the assumption that woman juice tastes just as nice as man juice, I don't know), because all that yummy juice just keeps on flowing. None of that having to keep going for ages just to get a tiny drop.

Sadly, I still haven't experienced what full on spunk tastes like. My jaw muscles start aching long before I bring him close to orgasm, and I feel I don't have the skills. I'm sure he enjoys it, but he's the quiet type when it comes to pleasure. When my face is in his genitals and I can't easily monitor his breathing rate or facial expressions, I find it difficult to know what's working and what's not. I wouldn't want him to fake anything, but sometimes I wish he'd just exaggerate how he feels a little bit to make it easier for me and give me some encouragement. I probably shouldn't have written that though, because he's going to read this and every time he does make the odd bit of noise, I'm going to wonder whether it's real or not.

I don't think it lasted that long. We generally don't do 69 because it just kills my neck and shoulders. I much prefer to do separate oral on each other. That means he can sit on the edge of the bed and I can last longer due to the reduced strain on my muscles (although it's still no easier on the jaw), and also that we can both devote our full attention to what we're having done to us and really enjoy it.

Even though it didn't last long, it was brilliant. I was so pleased that I'd got up the courage to do it and broken that barrier ages before I thought I'd be able to, and my boyfriend was also pretty pleased and surprised too! Next time, his dick would be getting wet in another of my orifices, and it wasn't going to be my mouth ;)